Louiselle, Misukanis and Mueller 1988

Found that permissive parenting was associated with children who:

• lacked self-esteem
• had lower cognition
• had lower levels of individuation (no boundaries)
• had lower levels of social consciousness-it is all about “ME”
• had lower level of autonomy
• had external locus of control—depends on others to get needs met
• had excessive self-centeredness
• had obnoxious attitude
• had ill tempered behavior
• had parents not enforcing age-appropriate limits
• were missing many skills

Clark and Dawson 1998

Describe six outcomes of overindulged children:

• Entitlement, not feeling responsible for actions
• Missing skills; social skills, telling time
• Not knowing what is enough—balance
• Boundary difficulties—little consequences for breaking rules
• Emotional pain

Kindlon, Dan, Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age

Dr. Kendlon describes the Seven Deadly Syndromes associated with overindulgence:

• Self-Centeredness
• Anger
• Extreme Ambition
• Lack of Motivation
• Eating Disorders
• Impulsiveness
• Spoiled Behavior

Methods of Overindulgence were:

• 53% having things done for them
• 53% having no consistent chores
• 41% being given clothes
• 35% being allowed privileges
• 35% being given toys

As adults, they had poor skills in:

• Communication and relationships
• Mental and personal healthy skills
• Decision making;
• Money and time management
• Ability to be responsible
• Overindulgence of their own children

Which ODD behaviors does your child display?

•  Loses temper at least twice a week
• Argues with adults at least twice a week
• Actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules at least twice a week
• Deliberately annoys people at least four times a week
• Blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior at least once during the last three months
• Is touchy or easily annoyed by others at least twice a week
• Is angry and resentful at least four times per week
• Acts spiteful or vindictive at least once during the last three months

If your child displays four out of these eight behaviors, then he or she might have Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Over-Dependency—Overindulged children usually become excessively dependent on their parents and others

Anger and Resentment—Anger becomes associated with children’s over-dependence on parents.  For some children, this may lead to oppositional and conduct disorder.

Loss of Interdependency—Interdependency is defined as taking care of oneself with the balance of being concerned for others.  A symptom of conduct disorders and certain personality disorders is a lack of interdependency (it is all about me with no concern for others)

Loss of Self-Reliance— Many overindulged children do not gradually learn the skills necessary to eventually stand on their own two feet

Inflated Self-Esteem—Overindulgent children often hear very positive comments about themselves from their parents.  Their parents often do not give constructive criticism about real flaws.  This results in overindulged children not managing constructive criticism from other well-intended adults (e.g. teachers, principals, grandparents, etc.)

Emotional Distance—Overindulged children tend to create emotional distance with parents more severely than normal.

Loss of age-appropriate skills—Since everything is corrected for them and done for them, overindulged children do not learn basic age appropriate skills.